Mothers are all slightly insane.
- J.D. Salinger
Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.
- Ed Asner
Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.
- Peter Ustinov
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
- Milton Berle
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
- Bill Cosby
I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
- Woody Allen
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
- Franklin P.Jones
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.
- Bill Cosby
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
- Doug Larson
In automobile terms, the child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.
- Benjamin Spock
The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
- Lane Olinhouse
I got caught kissing. Like by my parents. It was so horrible. It’s so embarrassing, I’m blushing.
- Katie Holmes
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
- Erma Bombeck
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