When you become senile, you won’t know it.
- Bill Cosby
I’m so old they’ve canceled my blood type.
- Bob Hope
I’ve only got one wrinkle and I’m sitting on it.
- Jeanne Calment
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
- Maurice Chevalier
As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
- Robert Quillen
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.
- Pierre August Renoir
I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.
- Milton Berle
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
- Bill Cosby
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