You might be a redneck if……….
1. Any of your children learned to make very realistic animal noises before they learned to talk.
2. You own more than two clappers.
3. Your mustache is longer than your wife’s hair.
4. You think your IQ is the number of coons you shot out of season.
5. You thought ER was ET’s cousin.
6. You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.
7. Warp drive describes the condition of your car.
8. You *have* a claw foot bathtub.
9. You have ever had to get up quickly in the morning in order to let the goat out before she dropped raisins on the kitchen floor.
10. When you put your hunting boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time.
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