Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?

He wanted to see time fly.

What’s the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles.

Why?

Because there’s a mile between the first and last letters.

Q: What do monsters make with cars?
A: Traffic Jam

Q: What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
A: Mumbo Jumbo

Q: Why did the pony cough?
A: He was a little hoarse!

Q: What do sheep do on sunny days?
A: Have a baa – baa – cue!

Q: How do you know when a dog has been naughty?
A: It leaves a little poodle on the carpet!

Q: Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches?
A: In a Launch box

Q: What do you call the pub on Mars?
A: A Mars Bar!

Q: Why did the spaceship land outside your bedroom?
A: I must have left the landing light on

Q: What do you call a vampire that lives in the kitchen?
A: Spatula!

Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with!

How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.

What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes?
The back of her head.

What is it when a blonde blows into another blondes ear?
Data transfer

How did the blonde get hurt while ice fishing?

She was run over by the zamboni.

Q. how does a blond kill a pigeon?

A. Throws it off a cliff.

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
Blonde: “HIJKLMNO”!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!

Question: Five blondes are facing execution: a rocket scientist, a historian, a teacher, a bimbo, and a mathematician. They are each hit with one bullet but, only one bleeds, which one?

Answer: The bimbo, you have to be real to bleed.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?

A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.