Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
- Ahmad

Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.
- Billie Burke

A dream catcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
- Demetri Martin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
- Buddy Hackett

To make a long story short, there’s nothing like having the boss walk in.
- Anonymous

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.
- Groucho Marx

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
- Anonymous

Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.
- Ken Dodd

If you wish to make a man your enemy, tell him simply, “You are wrong.” This method works every time.
- Henry Link

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had… so he sent me to a girls school.
- Anonymous

 Email This Page To Your Friend

I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
- Louis Agassiz

The first rule of baseball is to get a good ball to hit.
- Rogers Hornsby

When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much.
- Walter Lippmann

The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.
- German Proverb

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
- Sarah Brown

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.
- Vidal Sassoon

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
- George Bernard Shaw

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.
- Richard Bach

The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time.
- Joe Girard

 Email This Page To Your Friend