A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

Cop: “Do you know where your going?”

Blonde: “No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ’cause all the people are leaving.

A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning.

“What’s the moaning all about, ma’am?” asked the officer.

The blonde replied, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!”

A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building.

He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, “Why did you women jump off of the building?”

The blonde answers in a very weak voice, “We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings…”

A blond applied for a job and miraculously got one as a typist.

On the first day, she worked on the computer for almost 15 hours, saved tea and bathroom breaks.

The employer was happy watching her work so hard on the first day but was also a bit confused to see the pile of files being the same and not reduced at all.

He goes to her and asks for the reason for working so hard yet no work being finished.

She innocently replies, “The person who worked here first messed the keyboard as the keys are not in order. I am arranging them alphabetically”

Letter to Mr.Bill Gates from A Blonde

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears. We face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor (a red-headed) and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.

I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

Once a Blonde goes to a mirror shop to buy a mirror. He wanders all over the shop before the shopkeeper
comes and asks him,”May I help you?”.
Blonde: “I want a very strong mirror”.

Shop keeper: “Try this one sir!Its just 100$/-”

Blonde: “Is it really that strong?”

Shop keeper: “Yes sir. If u want to know, you can throw this mirror from 100 storeyed building. This
mirror does not breaks upto 99 floors sir!!”

Sardar: “Its great!!!”
He pays the shop keeper and leaves with that mirror!!

A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.

The pope told the brunette to take the last one.

The brunette said, “There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!”

D&C — Where Washington is
Fibula — A small lie
Medical staff — Doctor’s cane
Bacteria — Back door of cafeteria
Coma — A punctuation mark
Diarrhea — Journal of daily events
Protein — Favoring young people
Rectum — It almost killed him
Urine — Opposite of you’re out
Vein — Conceited
Varicose — Located nearby

This blonde was walking down a road, when this guy came along. The blond was carrying a bag. The guy goes, ”What are you carrying?” She goes, ”Melons.” The guy goes, ”Cool. if I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?” The blonde giggles and goes, ”If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.”

One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were on top of a burning building. When the firemen got there they stretched the trampoline out and told the brunette to jump. She jumped, then the firemen moved back and she died.

Then they moved back and told the redhead to jump. She said ”No! I saw what you just did!” The firemen replied, ”we don’t like brunettes, we won’t move this time!” So she believed them and jumped. They moved again, then returned to where they were.

Then they told the blonde to jump. She replied ”No I saw what you did to them!” The firemen said, ”we don’t like brunettes or redheads, we like blondes!” She then said ”OK! I’ll tell you what to do! All of you put the net on the ground and BACK UP!”