Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the Shopkeeper:

10 kilo sugar at Rs 1.25 a kilo
4 kilo coffee at Rs1.50 a kilo
2 kilo butter at Rs1.10 a kilo
2 bars soap at Rs0.83 each

“How much does that come to?” asked Larry.

“Twenty-two rupees and thirty-six paisa.”

“If I gave you three ten rupee bills, how much change would I get?” said Larry.

“Seven rupees and sixty-four paisa,” stated the shopkeeper who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.

Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, “i do not want to buy all this, i have come here just to get answer of my math’s question .”

Teacher: Johnny, name two pronouns.

Johnny: Who, me?

Teacher: Very good!

During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.

Teacher:Little Johny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.

Little Johny: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.

A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00.”

The guy asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?”

“That’s obvious,” the assistant states, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…..”

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

Little Johnny replied, “Because we must not disturb people while sleeping.”

There were two brothers at aged 12 & 8. They were so naughty and always people comes with complain to their parents. Parents became very fed-up and they have taken them to the mental doctor.

Doctor firstly call 12 years boy and asked him “Tell me where is god?” The boy keep himsilence. Then doctor again with loud voice asked him “Tell me where is God?”.

The boy suddenly ran away and went to his home and hide himself in his cloth cupboard.

When another brother saw that he also ran away after him and reached to the home and asked “Brother what doctor asked you and why you ran away?”

The elder brother said, “God is missing and everybody thinking that we did it”

Two boys were playing marble and suddenly rushed to the hospital.

Smaller boy told to the doctor, “I have swallowed a marble.”

Doctor: “I see, Is this your brother with you?” asked to the older boy.

The other boy replied “No, I own the marble.”

Q: What do monsters make with cars?
A: Traffic Jam

Q: What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
A: Mumbo Jumbo

Q: Why did the pony cough?
A: He was a little hoarse!

Q: What do sheep do on sunny days?
A: Have a baa – baa – cue!

Q: How do you know when a dog has been naughty?
A: It leaves a little poodle on the carpet!

Q: Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches?
A: In a Launch box

Q: What do you call the pub on Mars?
A: A Mars Bar!

Q: Why did the spaceship land outside your bedroom?
A: I must have left the landing light on

Q: What do you call a vampire that lives in the kitchen?
A: Spatula!

Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with!