At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him.

“Well,” Bubba began, “We wuz havin’ a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, ‘Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?’”

“And then what happened?” the officer interrupted.

“From what I remember,” Bubba said, “I stood up and said, ‘Sure, I’m game.’”

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope’s authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.

They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it.

The chief asked: “Who is in the limo, the mayor?”

The policeman told him: “No, someone more important than the mayor.”

Then the chief asked “Is it the governor?”

The policeman answered: “No, someone more important than the governor.”

The chief finally asked: “Is it the President?”

The policeman answered: “No, someone even more important than the President.”

This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: “Now who is more important than the President?!”

The policeman calmly whispered: “I’ll put it to you this way chief. I don’t know who this guy is, but he has the pope as his chauffeur.”

A state trooper stopped at a little cafe for coffee. As he was getting ready to leave a patron of the cafe yelled out, “Go out and get ‘em!” he said. “I suppose everyone’s going to get a ticket today?”

“I don’t really give out many tickets,” the cop said. “Oh, come on,” the man teased. “You’d give your own mother a ticket.”

“No, my mother never drove a car,” said the trooper. Then a grin spread over his face. “But I did catch her jaywalking once,” he said, “and I issued her a warning. But that’s all.”

A man was found murdered in his home over the weekend.

Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his tub. The tub had been filled with milk, and the deceased had a banana protruding from his buttocks.

Police suspect a cereal killer.

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”

The policeman said, “What’s he like?”

Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”

One day there was a woman who lost her cat named “LOVE.” It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him.
When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, “I’m looking for LOVE.” The policeman arrested her on the spot.

While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11′3.”

They got out and measured their rig, which was 12′4.”

“What do you think?” one asked the other.

The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. “Not a cop in sight. Let’s take a chance!”

A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.
She said, “I’m Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia.”
As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, “Well… OK… but don’t let me catch you speeding again.”

A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road. He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man’s body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over his head and he is covered from head to toe in hundreds of thousands of sprinkles.

A puzzled onlooker asks the policeman what he thinks has happened, to which the policeman replies: “It looks like he’s topped himself.”

A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge.

The judge said, “What will you take….30 days or $30.”

The man replied, “I think I’ll take the money.”