Question: A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said “Parrot repeats everything it hears”. Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn’t say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be?
Answer: The parrot was deaf.

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Question: You are in a room that is completly bricked in on all four sides, including the cieling and floor. You have nothing but a mirror and a wooden table in the room with you. How do you get out?
Answer: You look in the mirror you see what you saw, you take the saw and you cut the table in half, two halfs make a whole, and you climb out the hole.

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Question: A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires the second is full of assassins with loaded guns and the third is full of lions that haven”t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?”

Answer: The third. Lions that haven”t eaten in three years are dead.”

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Question: An old man wanted to leave all of his money to one of his three sons, but he didn’t know which one he should give it to. He gave each of them a few coins and told them to buy something that would be able to fill their living room. The first man bought straw, but there was not enough to fill the room. The second bought some sticks, but they still did not fill the room. The third man bought two things that filled the room, so he obtained his father’s fortune. What were the two things that the man bought?

Answer: The wise son bought a candle and a box of matches. After lighting the candle, the light filled the entire room.

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Question: A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis:
The Wife said she was sleeping.
The Cook was cooking breakfast.
The Gardener was picking vegetables.
The Maid was getting the mail.
The Butler was cleaning the closet.
The police instantly arrested the murdered. Who did it and how did they know?

Answer: It was the Maid. She said she was getting the mail. There is no mail on Sunday! (next day air and email doesn’t count)

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Question: A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breath under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said, “that’s nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no types of equipment or air pockets!” The magician told the kid if he could do that, he’d give him $10,000. The kid did it and won the money. Can you figure out how?

Answer: The kid filled a glass of water and held it over his head for 10 minutes.

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Question: A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

Answer: The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

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Question: A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, “If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50.” The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he’ll just say he weighs more or less. In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?

Answer: The man did exactly as he said he would and wrote “your exact weight” on the paper

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Read the following passage and then scroll down for
further instructions at the end. Read loudly to yourself now read:-

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is fool cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word in each line then you will understand what is funny in this.

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Question: How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?
Answer: Read the label.

Question: A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her?
Answer: It was a bright, sunny day.

Question: If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Answer: Because it wasn’t raining.

Question: If a man were born in Greece, raised in Spain, came to America, and died in San Francisco, what is he?
Answer: Dead.

Question: If you want to get rich, why should you keep your mouth shut?
Answer: Because silence is gold.

Question: On what kind of ships do students study?
Answer: Scholarships..

Question: What asks no question but demands an answer?
Answer: A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

Question: What can you break without touching it?
Answer: Your promise

Question: What belongs to you, but is used more by others?
Answer: Your Name

Question: What colour was Napoleon’s white horse?
Answer: White

Question: What did the man do when he got a big gas bill?
Answer: “Hello, honey!”

Question: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
Answer: “You are too young to smoke.”

Question: What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel?
Answer: “I’m nuts about you.”

Question: What did the light switch say to the girl?
Answer: “You turn me on. ”

Question: What did the big watch hand say to the little watch hand?
Answer: “Don’t go away, I’ll be back in an hour.”

Question: What did the man say when he got a big phone bill?
Answer: “Who said talk is cheap?”

Question: What do people make that you can’t see?
Answer: Noise

Question: What did the tree say to the woodpecker?
Answer: “You bore me.”

Question: What does a caterpillar do on New Year’s Day?
Answer: Turns over a new leaf.

Question: How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Answer: Once because after you subtract it”s not 25 anymore.”

Question: If life gets tough what do you have that you can always count on?
Answer: Your fingers!

Question: How can you eat an egg without breaking its shell?
Answer: Ask someone else to break it.

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