80% of the brain is water.

Sneezes can travel over 100 mph.

Your skin is the heaviest organ.

Only 7% of the population are lefties.

There are 450 hairs in an average eyebrow.

Your thumb is the same length as your nose.

Humans spend a third of their lives sleeping.

Your skin weighs twice as much as your brain.

The human brain stops growing at the ages of 18.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

The largest internal organ is the small intestine.

The human tooth has about 55 miles of canals in it.

Women’s hair is about half the diameter of men’s hair.

The average Human bladder can hold 13 ounces of liquid.

85% of the population can curl their tongue into a tube.

Our eyes never grow, our nose and ears never stop growing.

Three Hundred Million Cells Die In Your Body Every Minute.

The storage capacity of the human brain exceeds 4 terabytes.

The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razorblades.

The brain operates on the same amount of power as 10-watt light bulb.

Nerve impulses to and from the brain travel as fast as 170 miles per hour

The average person will drink 8,000 gallons of water during their lifetime.

Babies are born without knee caps. They don’t appear until they are 2-6 years old.

You loose enough dead skin cells in your lifetime to fill eight five pound flour bags.

The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

The Strong Contraction of Your Heart Creates Enough Pressure To Squirt Blood As Far As 30 Feet.

 Email This Page To Your Friend

In France, it is legal to marry a dead person!

It is illegal NOT to smile in Pocatello, Idaho!

In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.

It is illegal to hunt camels in the state of Arizona.

In Singapore, it is illegal to sell or own chewing gum.

In Georgia a barber is not to advertise prices.

In Florida, Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.

In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage.

Alaska law says that you can’t look at a moose from an airplane.

In 1659, it was illegal to celebrate Christmas in Massachusetts.

In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry ice-cream in your back pocket.

In Georgia, it is against the law to slap a man on the back or front.

Farmers in England are required by law to provide their pigs with toys!

It is illegal to be a prostitute in Siena, Italy, if your name is Mary.

In Philadelphia, you can’t put pretzels in bags based on an Act of 1760.

In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.

In Natoma, Kansas, it’s illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits

In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals!

In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.

California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat.

In Holland, you can be fined for not using a shopping basket at a grocery store!

In Florida, It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay, as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

First-cousin marriages are legal in Utah, so long as both parties are 65 or older!

In Oklahoma, no baseball team can hit the ball over the fence or out of a ballpark.

According to U.S. laws, a beer commercial can never show a person actually drinking beer.

A Russian man who wore a beard during the time of Peter the Great had to pay a special tax.

It is illegal to purchase or consume Jack Daniel’s Whiskey in the town in which it is produced!

In West Virginia if you run over an animal, you can legally take it home and cook it for dinner!

In Kentucky, It’s illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.

It was illegal to sell E.T. dolls in France because there is a law against selling dolls without human faces.

In Nebraska, It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

In Athens, Greece, a driver’s license can be taken away by law if the driver is deemed either unbathed or poorly dressed.

In Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.

 Email This Page To Your Friend

Mosquitoes have 47 teeth.

Most lipstick is partially made of fish scales.

The hardness of ice is similar to that of concrete.

No president of the United States was an only child.

The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites.

The average cocoon contains about 300-400 metres of silk.

Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morning than caffeine.

Whitby, Ontario has more donut stores per capita than any other place in the world.

Basketball is a famous American sport invented by a Canadian who was working at a YMCA in the U.S.

Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter “E”.

 Email This Page To Your Friend

I think therefore I am.
– Rene Descartes

Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.
- Samuel Goldwyn

Common sense is not so common.
– Voltaire

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
- Unknown

Operator! Give me the number for 911.
- Homer Simpson

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
- Jimi Hendrix

Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
- Doug Larson

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.
- Groucho Marx

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W.C Fields

Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver.
- William James

The best way to become boring is to say everything.
– Voltaire

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
– Voltaire

A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
– Unknown

He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.
- The Koran

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
- W.C. Fields

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
– Unknown

Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?
- George W Bush

A technical objection is the first refuge of a scoundrel.
– Unknown

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
– Voltaire

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
- Unknown

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
- Groucho Marx

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous

A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.
- Doug Larson

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
– Unknown

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
- Anonymous

To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.
- Eva Young

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- Henry Kissinger

I like work it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
- Jerome K. Jerome

A definition is the enclosing a wilderness of idea within a wall of words.
- Samuel Butler

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
- Benjamin Franklin

I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Democracy is the process by which people choose the man who’ll get the blame.
- Bertrand Russell

I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting.
- Anonymous

People seldom do what they believe in, they do what is convenient, and then repent.
- Bob Dylan

Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.
- Goethe

The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there’s only one other choice.
- Doug Larson

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

 Email This Page To Your Friend

A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.
- Bill Cosby

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.
- Ambrose Bierce

Some folk are wise, and some are otherwise.
- Tobias Smollett

Along with success comes a reputation for wisdom.
- Euripides

Cleverness is not wisdom.
- Euripides

Silence is true wisdom’s best reply.
- Euripides

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
- Sam Levenson

contribute to make a man wise than to have always an enemy in his view.
- Lord Halifax

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
- Jimi Hendrix

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
- Marty Feldman

How to make a million dollars. First, get a million dollars.
- Steve Martin

If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a darn fool about it.
- W.C. Fields

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer

People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy.
- Anton Chekhov

No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
- Mark Twain

You must BE the change you wish to see in the world.
- Mohandas Gandhi

There is no dog!
– Anonymous

A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.
- Dutch Proverb

640k ought to be enough for anybody.
- Bill Gates

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.
- Thomas Paine

Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength.
- Henry Ward Beecher

We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.
- Edward R. Murrow

None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
- Goethe

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers

Propaganda has and will always work for those that need to believe.
– MMG Forums

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.
- Mae West

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
- Jimi Hendrix

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
- Steve Martin

 Email This Page To Your Friend

The damned thing works!
- Philo Farnsworth

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
- Fred Allen

Television has raised writing to a new low.
- Samuel Goldwyn

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.
- Archie Bunker

I cannot sing, dance or act – what else would I be but a talk show host.
- David Letterman

You can learn more by watching ‘Let’s Make a Deal’ than you can by watching Walter Cronkite for a month.
- Monty Hall

In Beverly Hills…they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
- Woody Allen

I’m playing a cat burglar. I’ve made it. This is the high point of my career. I’m really chuffed.
- Sam Neill

If brains were lard, Jethro couldn’t grease a pan.
- Buddy Ebsen

Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.
- Alfred Hitchcock

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
- Alfred Hitchcock

Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up every time.
- Alfred Hitchcock

I got sick of turning on the TV and seeing my face.
- Michael J. Fox

Television is democracy at its ugliest.
- Paddy Chayefsky

Television has made dictatorship impossible, but democracy unbearable.
- Shimon Peres

Color television! Bah, I won’t believe it until I see it in black and white.
- Samuel Goldwyn

Can you imagine Simon as a kid? His imaginary friends probably never wanted to play with him.
- Paula Abdul

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
- Peter De Vries

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.
- Richard Nixon

If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.
- Johnny Carson

Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know.
- Marvin Minsky

We don’t want the television script good. We want it Tuesday.
- Dennis Norden

I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician.
- Marty Feldman

If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
- George Gobal

Television has brought back murder into the home — where it belongs.
- Alfred Hitchcock

Television is a medium. So called because it’s neither rare nor well done.
- Ernie Kovacs

Anyone can *read* the news *to* you. What I plan to do is *feel* the news *at* you.
- Stephen Colbert

I feel like I’ve been incarcerated in a blueberry.
- Nigel St. Nigel

Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.
- Cartman

In my house I’m the boss. My wife is just the decision maker.
- Woody Allen

In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
- Oscar Wilde

Income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
- Will Rogers

Intellectuals are like the mafia; they only kill their own.
- Woody Allen

 Email This Page To Your Friend

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Grigorievitch Tartakower

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases.
- John W. Raper

There are moments when everything goes well; don’t be frightened, it won’t last.
- Jules Renard

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
- Maryon Pearson

Let us be thankful for fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
- Mark Twain

I certainly hear the Trombones Unlimited version of ‘Daydream’ in a lot of elevators.
- John Sebastian

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
- Joseph W. Stilwell

Along with success comes a reputation for wisdom.
- Euripides

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
- Earl Wilson

The toughest thing about success is that you’ve got to keep on being a success.
- Irving Berlin

Nothing recedes like success.
- Walter Winchell

The road to success is always under construction.
- Arnold Palmer

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me.
- Howard Nemerov

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen

Don’t improve it into a flop!
- Samuel Goldwyn’s

Give me a couple of years, and I’ll make that actress an overnight success.
- Samuel Goldwyn

The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
- David Brinkley

 Email This Page To Your Friend

Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound.
- Anonymous

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.
- Alan Minter

Ignorance is not bliss. Bliss is ignorance of one’s ignorance.
- Insert Quip Here

We squirrels laugh at you in secret, you know.
- Anonymous

Someone should stab you in the eye with a really hot french fry.
– Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Insanity is a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world.
- R. D. Lang

It’s easy to write one’s memoirs when one has a terrible memory.
- Arthur Schnitzler

I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Cheaters aren’t cheaters, they are just high risk players.
- Tony Distefano

I don’t cheat, I play by my own rules.
- Tony Distefano

Yesterday mail! For when you need it there before you send it.
- Anonymous

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- Anonymous

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- Anonymous

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
- Anonymous

I am free from all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
- W. C. Fields

The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
- Doug Larson

If I only had a little humility, I’d be perfect.
- Ted Turner

Beyond this place there be dragons.
- Anonymous

 Email This Page To Your Friend

On another night, they’d have won 2-2.
- Ron Atkinson

Zero-zero is a big score.
- Ron Atkinson

The keeper was unsighted – he still didn’t see it.
- Ron Atkinson

Well, Clive, it’s all about the two M’s – movement and positioning.
- Ron Atkinson

Football’s not a matter of life and death … it’s more important than that.
- Bill Shankly

My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.
- David Beckham

We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought.
- Bobby Robson

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
- George Best

Well , either side could win it, or it could be a draw.
- Ron Atkinson

We lost because we didn’t win.
- Ronaldo

We must have had 99% of the game. It was the other 3% that cost us the match.
- Ruud Gullit

Raul, man, he’s like a Twinkie. He would survive a nuclear war.
- Ray Hudson

I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.
- David Beckham

Sometimes in football you have to score goals.
- Thierry Henry

I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.
- Mark Viduka

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.
- Robin Williams

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
- Woody Allen

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Alfred Hitchcock

Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you’re 80-20 sure of winning it.
- Ian Darke

Ian Rush is deadly 10 times out of 10, but that wasn’t one of them.
- Peter Jones

You don’t score 64 goals in 86 games without being able to score goals.
- Alan Green

Football (soccer) has taken the place of religion in Scotland.
- Robin Jenkins

All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.
- Mitchell Thomas

The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.
- Graeme Le Saux

One accusation you can’t throw at me is that I’ve always done my best.
- Alan Shearer

I’d rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.
- Johnny Giles

Sometimes in football you have to score goals.
- Thierry Henry

He’s put on weight and I’ve lost it, and vice versa.
- Ronnie Whelan

We lost because we didn’t win.
- Ronaldo

I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.
- Mark Draper

Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.
- Ian Wright

It was a big relief off my shoulder.
- Paul Gascoigne

I’m as happy as I can be – but I have been happier.
- Ugo Ehiogu

It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.
- Ian Wright

I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
- Stuart Pearce

we lost because we didn’t win.
- Ronaldo

There’s no in between you’re either good or bad.. We were in
between.
- Gary Lineker

I’d like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona.
- Mark Draper

If it had gone in, it would have been a goal.
- Barry Davies

Thirty minutes to go, and it’s still 1-0 apiece.
- A commentator

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.
- Ron Atkinson

An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal.
- Dave Bassett

For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip.
- John Motson

I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back.
- Eric Morecambe

 Email This Page To Your Friend

If elected, I will win.
- Pat Paulsen

You can’t buy love on eBay.
- Anonymous

They misunderestimated me.
- George Bush

I will veto every single beer.
- John McCain

A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers

For NASA, space is still a high priority.
- Dan Quayle

Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries.
- Cher

You’d think he was running for First Lady.
– Bill Clinton

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.
- Goodman Ace

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
- Lester Pearson

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- Harry S Truman

If we don’t succeed we run the risk of failure.
- Dan Quayle

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do.
- Ronald Reagan

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
- Anonymous

Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?
- George Bush

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
- Anonymous

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
- George Bush

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.
- Dan Quayle

It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
- Dan Quayle

In my White House, we will know who wears the pantsuits.
- Hillary Clinton

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt.
- Herbert Hoover

When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.
- Anonymous

Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say!
- Anonymous

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- George Stephanopoulos

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- Dr. Henry Kissinger

I’m not a member of any organized political party, I’m a Democrat!
- Will Rogers

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
- Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
- Cathy Carlyle

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.
- Robert Byrne

The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.”
- Anonymous

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
- Cecilia Egan

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.
- Alben W. Barkley

I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.
- Ronald Reagan

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
- George W. Bush

I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.
- Bill Clinton

The enemy isn’t conservatism. The enemy isn’t liberalism. The enemy is bullshit.
- Lars Erik Nelson

You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
- Robin Williams

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.
- Anonymous

French President Charles de Gaulle China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
- George Bernard Shaw

You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
- Anonymous

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
- Dan Quayle

Don’t get excited about a tax cut. It’s like a mugger giving you back fare for a taxi.
- Arnold Glasow

Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you’ve gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.
- Jon Stewart

I am not one who — who flamboyantly believes in throwing a lot of words around.
— George Bush

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
- Oscar Wilde

I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
- Hillary Clinton

The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war.
- Bill Clinton

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
- Al Capone

There ought to be one day — just one — where there is open season on senators.
- Will Rogers

Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.
- Frank Dane

The government’s income policy is as significant as a blush on a dead man’s cheek.
- Clive Jenkins

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river.
- Nikita Khrushchev

One thing I can say about George…he may not be able to keep a job, but he’s not boring.
- Barbara Bush

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw

See, Barack’s been talking down to black people on this faith-based…I want to cut his nuts off.
- Jesse Jackson

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him.
- Cher

Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.
- PJ O’Rourke

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.
- Clarence Darrow

I’m honored to be here with the eternal general of the United States, mi amigo Alberto Gonzales.
- George Bush

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
- G.B. Shaw

Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening.
- Ronald Reagan

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
- Aristotle

I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave — with all five fingers — for their hospitality.
– President Bush

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn’t work very well.
- Len Deighton

I love those hockey moms. You know, they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?
- Sarah Palin

If there is such a thing as karma, let’s hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane.
- Bill Maher

Making a speech on economics is a bit like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you but never to anyone else.
- Lyndon B Johnson

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
- Anonymous

Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that.
- Hillary Clinton

 Email This Page To Your Friend